Divorce Mediation vs Litigation

When couples can't immediately agree, they usually take one of two roads: mediation or litigation. They lead to very different experiences, and very different bills.

Litigation: letting the court decide

Litigation means fighting it out through the court system, with each spouse's lawyer arguing their side and, ultimately, a judge deciding the disputes. It's the most expensive and adversarial route, it can take many months or years, and you hand control of the outcome to a stranger in a robe.

Mediation: deciding it yourselves

Mediation uses a neutral third party to help you and your spouse reach your own agreement. It's dramatically cheaper and faster, far less hostile, and keeps you in control of the result. It's also easier on children, who feel the tension of a courtroom battle.

Which to choose

If you can negotiate in good faith, even if you don't yet agree on everything, mediation is almost always the better first step. Litigation is a last resort for cases with serious conflict, abuse, or a spouse who won't deal fairly. Many couples mediate to reach agreement, then file as an uncontested divorce.

For most people, mediation delivers a better outcome for less money and less pain. Litigation is where you turn only when there's no other way.